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places I have shat

damion Jan 5, 2004

  1. janinho

    janinho psypizza and tomatos

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    Mmmh when in Varanasi, in the middle of the day, due to a one too many chai and also due to other unwanted guests in my guts I had the shits..a turd was already kissing my underwear and my place was half an hour walk away, so out of question..I was not in the turistic side of town therefore no restaurants with a toilet available, couldnt do it in the Ganga for the love of Shiva or in the street for the love of myself, so I just did what seemed the most logical thing at the moment..I started to run up some stairs..before I knew it I was on a rooftop enclosed by other buildings..I baptised a spot near a column and just freed myself with immense relief..halfway through I raised my sight and saw this old woman just starring at from a window about 10 meters away from me...and I wasnt finished yet..After about 30 seconds that seemed years to me, I cleaned up myself as quick as I could and just run down the stairs not looking at anything else but my feet. Of course I avoided that part of town for the rest of my visit.

    The most epic shit was the second part of a double turd I had to do a day in the Himalayas..that was up Tilicho Lake in the Anapurna Massif, an iced lake surrounded by glaciers at 5000m..felt soooo wrong violating such a immaculate place but that was the consequence of a not well executed first turd halfway through the trek..basically in the early morning I started the ascent that from the base camp was taking me up to the lake..a 3 hours very steep ascent from 4100 to 5000 meters in an unbelievable place..that day at base camp there were about 15 other people, 6 of them were a group of Taiwanese young trekkers who had this very weird style of trekking where they were just going one after the other at 10cm distance and holding each other hands. If one was stopping all the others were stopping too until it was green line again..they looked like they were some sort of living creature made of 6 heads and 12 legs..very strange..anyway I passed them and was going up pretty well until I started to feel the need of evacuating..but the mountains at that altitude have nothing but grass..no trees, no bushes, not even rocks in that case..Conscious that I wouldnt have had any other opportunities in the next few hours, I accelerated in order to gain a couple of minutes on the Taiwanese millipede and to take advantage of a bend of the mountain that would have given me a bit of privacy..I just did what I had to, but was one of those tricky ones if you know what I mean and I started to panic a bit cos after few minutes I was still half way through and very worried that the 6in1 could appear at any time now..I was pushing so much, and given the altitude, probably 4600m at that point, it wasnt a good idea..the next thing I knew I was lying face down and arse up desperately trying to catch some breath..
    Of course just in that moment the group turned up and I like to think I managed to hide the sight of my pale arse to them, but the crap near the path and the toilet roll in my hand probably gave away some clues..
     
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    Last edited: Oct 29, 2013
  2. thegoatboy

    thegoatboy Forum Member

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    One of my worst was Amsterdam.

    We had a skinful the night before, and I was really hung over the next day, so I stayed off the beer and stuck to the green.

    In the night, loads of the boys on the stag do went into the banana bar.

    I didn't want to do that, so me and two others went to the nearest coffee shop, which was a biker bar.

    The toilets in amsterdam are some of the worst I have ever seen.

    We were in this bar and I need to go bad.

    really bad.

    knowing what the toilets were like in the 'dam, i knew it would be bad, but the thought of trying to find my hostel, and then get back to the biker bar seemed like climbing everest so after leaving it to the point of no return i stumbled to the toilet.

    They only had one sit down toilet, which was a mess, but the worst thing was the massive f*8knig hole in the door.

    Since I had no choice i had to have a very unhappy poo just staring up at the door waiting for a big hairy bikers face to pop through.

    I still have vietnam style flashbacks of that poo.
     
  3. GoneWest

    GoneWest Dilettante

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    vietnam_c91c2e_945432.gif
     
  4. lurk

    lurk Stunning Cunt

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    we were at a friends house the other day, and he has a skateboard ramp at the end of his garden, quite a big one. my little girl is being potty trained at the moment and she just pulled down her pants and shat on the ramp with four or five other toddlers whizzing past her on various skateboards and wheeled contraptions. luckily my wife spotted what had happened and disaster was averted.
     
  5. Full Lotus

    Full Lotus Hob Nob King Staff Member

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    Good girl :Smile3:
     
  6. Full Lotus

    Full Lotus Hob Nob King Staff Member

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    Your daughter I meant :Grin:
     
  7. lurk

    lurk Stunning Cunt

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    i was proud :Wink3:
     
  8. bez23

    bez23 Adverse camber

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    Oh, that's a shame.
    I was about to congratulate you on a fabulous thread bump, but no - it's just a spam flavoured shit post.
     
  9. GoneWest

    GoneWest Dilettante

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    I was excited to see this thread too, anyone shat anywhere interesting recently?
     
  10. Nanook

    Nanook In the kitchen, studio or gym.

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    [​IMG]
     
  11. Nanook

    Nanook In the kitchen, studio or gym.

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    Nice little tributary in the mountains of Norway.

    Was decent.

    Proper wilderness.
    The guide was like, "Dont go out after dark. You know...because of the wolves and bears"

    That was enough to ....erm....start proceedings...
     

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