Top 10 10 Slices of Utter Shite


Pound Shop Alex Petridis
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what in tintern abbey are you talking about?
Daft Twat Damion on the ones and two's

1. Falco - It's All Over Now Baby Blue

Bob Dylan classic gets a pasting!! Utterly awful, especially when he breaks into German something about high heels. Falco was that c*nt who did rock me amadeus. I think this is probably a last desperate attempt at fame. So bad it's good. IN a bad way.
Which is good.

2. Bollywood AllStars - Dont Stop Till You Get To Bollywood

Michael Jackson's Dont Stop Till You Get Enough with some delightful indian lyrics over the top... check out new unreleased Bollywood Allstars on my forthcoming album on Tip! Yeah!

3. GLC - Soap Bar

"Yeah I smoke soapbar with lots of bits of plastic / I leaves mine in it 'cos it tastes fantastic."

4. PicAsio - Fill Me In vs Eye Of The Tiger

Ahh we love bootlegs. Right girls! Right on! And this is sublime. It works better than either of the originals. And if it's good music, it's good music! yeah!

5. Dalek Beach Party - Teddy Boy's Picnic

Sublime rockabilly nonsense from listen who f*ing cares where

6. Mojo Nixon - Girlfriend In A Coma

Smiths classic gets an utter pasting from some idiot or other. Sort of a daft take on lounge cover versions of sensible songs. It's so postmodern that it shouldn't really be played, as the decor at whatever party you're playing at would suddenly be rendered meaningless.
In fact the record is so post-postmodern that putting it in a top10 has just made the whole concept of a top10 seem rather idiotic, and this top10 descends into an infinite regress or transcendental self-disproofs. Anyway, the record: we love it. Yes.

7. Balsara & His Singing Sitars - I Wanna Hold Your Hand

From the Exotica collection of Beatles covers, it does exactly what it says on the tin. And it makes me laugh so hard i lost a kidney last week.

8. Tarnation - Leaving On A Jet Plane

John Denver tune. He died on a jet plane. Once i was waiting for a jet plane and my girlfriend at the time, blissfully unaware of Denver's fate, starts singing this tune. Which is an incredibly daft f*ing thing to do really isnt it, but not as daft as this cover version, which takes possibly the saddest bit of ironic i-sing-about-it, and-then-i-die-from-it songs and turns it into a f*ing romp in misery woods that even the goths who hang about at the shopping centre on a saturday afternoon harming themselves would have a bit of a job getting through.sigh.

9. Skit Dank - You Give Love A Bad Name

Ska version of the bon jovi "classic". "Classic" in the same way that "Prostate" is a classic cancer, or that "Chlamidya" is a "Classic" sexually transmited disease, or that anything Alien Peoject has done since he first went to the lavatory unaided (allegedly, at the age of twenty-two) is in some way "Classic". Pish posh.

10.Moog Cookbook - Sweet Home Alabama

Americana gets sent up. What more do you need??

I'll rock up and play these at your party for £50.

If i rock up, and you dont want me to play them, that'll be £100.

This doesn't include the Black Swan, which for reasons relating to my last set there I am unable to set foot within three hundred feet of.

Seriously, if anyone wants to hear these drop me a PM and I can sort you out with a CD, or the Samaritans phone number, whichever we both decide is more appropriate.
hahaha, this looks killer mate :Smile3:

one of my friends at uni had a cd with all the abba tracks in hindi.. think it would've fitted this list perfectly!
Off the Hook!

If such a musical critique were any more contorted the prose might evaporate of the page into an epistemological cloud of hallucinogenic nostalgia !

Where d'ya get this track list?


*reminds me of those whacked-out flashback scenes from those freaky off-key 80's sci-fi's*


I must be missing something.

When is this one out, Credit card at the ready !!!!!
I thought this might be an extension of your "Top Ten Places I Have Shat" Thread Damion, but this time with actual pictoral evidence of the crimes!! :Wink3: :Grin:

uhh thank god it wasn't!
damion said:
Daft Twat Damion on the ones and two's

7. Balsara & His Singing Sitars - I Wanna Hold Your Hand[/b]

From the Exotica collection of Beatles covers, it does exactly what it says on the tin. And it makes me laugh so hard i lost a kidney last week.


hahah....Beatles covers are alwasy a treat.

Check out The King singers version of OB La Di - Ob La Da... (or any of there other bizarrre tunes!)
Joe Dolce - Shaddap yer face :Wink3: :peace:
Red five said:
I'm gonna do you a copy of my hammond organ band version of "Light my Fire".

it's class.

I have a sitar version, but Marc Scratchedelic has the Stephen Hawking version. Pure class that one. :lol:
:lol: :lol: There have certainly been some good tracks listed!!! NOT :cool:

I've still got all my old vinyl 7" that I bought in my early teens. Some of which r really bad so I'm not going to admit to having them. There's things like Wham, Culture Club and Donna Summer :Sad: Scary :smoke: :smoke:
Damion, I'll book ya!

Fooking wicked selection there Sir :lol1: :lol1: