15th February 2006Dear the Government,
I think I'm addicted to acid. But I don't really think this is a bad thing. Why is acid illegal? Seriously, yeah, I mean I've been on the talk to frank website, and the only bad thing that could happen is you might have a bad trip. And that's it. If you drink too much alcohol though you'll die. Seriously, what the fuck? are you all stupid or something? I've never had a bad trip and I've eaten christ knows how many drugs.
When you're on acid, you don't want to fight, you don't really want to have sex, you want to do things cus they're funny. Acid would cut down on violence and teen pregnancy. Acid should be legal. No, mandatory. Think how good the country would be.
And ketamine too. That makes you infertile yeah, so it would solve the population problem. Also if you think pikeys are a problem, why don't you just sterilise them, then they won't be able to breed. Sorted.
Also, what is so wrong with parties? There is absolutely nothing wrong with having fun. We don't hurt people, all we want to do is dance and be happy. Do you just not listen to music? No you listen to Skazi don't you, no wonder the country is so wrong.
I really like the fact that you pay me Â£44.50 a week to do nothing. It is very nice of you. I'm using the money to save up for my own bottle.
Please can you re-instate Mark Oaten? He was really good. Just because he had sex with a man is no reason to make him quit. Do you pau him Â£44.50 a week to? If not that's rahter mean as you made him have no money, and he is better than all of you put together.
Anyway, just thought I'd tell you that.
Lots of love,
Miss Emufairy Extraordinaire xxx
P.S I'm not as cool as Tim