blonde jokes

spacecake

my head is a frisbeee....
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i was just wondering how many blonde jokes are out there so if u have any post them

cheers:party2: o yea and no offence meant to any blonde people.....
 

lala69

51% Sweetheart,49% Bitch
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I have some... disclaimer: no offence is meant to any blonde people.

What's the difference between a blonde and a concorde?

Not everyone's been in a concorde.

*ouch*
 

oli oi oi

with the ill behaviour
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A blonde and a brunette jump of a building. which hits the ground first?


The brunette, the blonde had to stop and ask directions.....
 

lala69

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Why are blondes buried in triangular coffins?
cos everytime their heads hit the pillow, their legs open.

Why was the blondes belly-button bruised?
Her boyfriend's blonde too...

etc etc
 

Squagnut

There's a gnu in my squat
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A blonde goes into an electrical shop, sees something she wants, and asks about it.
"How much is that TV there?"
But the assistant is less than helpful...
"I'm sorry, we don't serve blondes in here"
But this is one determined blonde, so she leaves and puts on a hat, stuffing all her hair into it, then comes back and tries again.
"How much is that TV?"
"I'm sorry, but we still don't serve blondes in here"
So she goes away and comes back a couple of days later, having shaved her head. But still the assistant says they don't serve blondes.
So she waits a while, grows her hair back, dyes it black, and tries again.
"How much is that TV there?"
"I'm sorry, but we don't serve blondes."
"But I'm a brunette!"
"No you're not."
"Ok, I admit it, I've dyed my hair. But how did you know I'm a blonde?"
"You know the TV you want?"
"Yes..."
"It's a microwave."
 

floatyhippyflower

Free spirit, lost soul.
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A blonde called to her boyfriend one day and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde replied, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decided to go over to where she had the pieces laid out on the table and help her with the puzzle. After studying them for a moment, he looked at the box then turned to her and said, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything that remotely resembes a tiger."

He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea and then............", he sighed, "we can put the Frosties back in the box."

:runaway:
 
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:lol1: FHF thats great.

I have a friend whos really dumb and shes a brunnette. To cover up her stupidness, shes bleached her hair (at one point she had a badger stripe) so she can say: 'Just coz Im blonde'...which has us cracking up every time coz she really believes shes blonde.

Its quite worrying.
 

snafu

I suck (apparently)
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how do you get a blonde bird to burn her ear?
Phone her when she's ironing

Did you hear Dulux have released a new 'Blonde' paint? It's not very bright but it's cheap and spreads easily

Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?
A: Blow in her ear.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.


Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.


Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her indicator light is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"?
A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.


I think that's enough but I can probably dredge up a few more if you really want them
 

skwelch

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how does a blonde turn the lights off after sex



....closes the car door
 

micheru

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what is the difference between a blonde and a kit kat?




you only get four fingers in a kit kat
:Wink3:
xx
 

Abstraction

happy juice
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an old blind guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, sits down at the bar and says "who wants to hear a blonde joke?"
"before you tell that joke," say the bartender, "i think you should know that im blonde, the lady on you right is a blonde female wrestler, the one on your left is a blonde female body builder, the two playing pool are both blonde, and so is the bouncer. so do you really want to tell that joke?"

"No," says the old guy, "i dont want to have to explain it five times!
 
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