English as a second language

Narcoleptic Dancer

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its old but everytime its funny

English as a second language

The European Commission has just announced an agreementwhereby English will be the official language of theEuropean Union rather than German, which was the otherpossibility. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Governmentconceded that English spelling had some room for improvementand has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be knownas "Euro-English". In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have oneless letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond yearwhen the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kanbe expekted to reach the stage where more komplikatedchanges are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double leterswhich have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' inthe languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl will be reseptiv to steps such asreplasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' be dropd from vordskontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid tooza kombinations of letas. After ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil findit ezi tu anderstand ech oza. Ze drem of ze united urop vil finali kum tru!
 

LOLITA

Psychodelicat
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Does the pronunciation remain the same? Looks like a detourned way to bring German as the european language to me :ibiggrin:
 
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