Gareths run of jokes

Vanilla Penguin

V.P Psy comes to Dorset
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Right, I'm going to post a few jokes : One day mom was cleaning little Johnny's room.

In the closet she found an S&M magazine. This was highly upsetting
to her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed
it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a
word.

She finally asked him, "Well, what should we do about this?"

Dad looked at her and said, "Well, I don't think you should spank
him." so :
 

Vanilla Penguin

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The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections
from all the private businesses that they were "protecting."

Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf
person for this job. If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able
to communicate to the police what he was doing.

Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000.
He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe
place. The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and
sends some of their hoods after the deaf collector.

The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is.
The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags
the guy to a sign language interpreter. The Mafia hood says to
the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."

The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"

The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what
you're talking about."

The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf
collector. "Now ask him where da money is!"

The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"

The deaf man replies, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central
Park."

The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know
what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the balls to
pull the trigger."
 

Vanilla Penguin

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Two idiots were hunting in the woods when they lost their way.

Elliot had read that when lost, you fire three times in the air
and help will come. So he did. Nothing happened.

An hour later he fired three more times. After another hour his
friend told him to try a third time.

.. "Okay," said Elliot, "but we're almost out of arrows."
 
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