I tell you a joke.. You tell me a joke..

random_impulse

random_impulse

randomly impulsive!
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Man Goes into a Bar...


..What's a mango doin' in a bar?





instead of reading on from here (it's all a load of early hour, or late night waffle :iconfused) can you tell me a joke. /Anything :irazz:



We could do this forever ya know. Or until my computer breaks again -whatevers good for you.. The good thing is it's easy to improve on this joke. No guarantee on wether this will happen. "The world is your Oak Tree."


If you got this far, you read the joke and kept reading. Well the majority of you did, perhaps a small amount of you didn't read it but are reading this, in which case you have a interestingly confusing way of reading. Really you should have read the joke and replied with one straight away without reading this and if you did that then you haven't read this. I can say what i want about you :irazz:
 
A woman is sitting on a plane when the pilot announces that because of difficulties with the plane's engines, he must make an emergency landing.

The woman, fearing that this may be the end of her life looks over to a man sitting next to her and rips her shirt and bra off, and throws herself on him. "Make me feel like a woman again!" she screams.

So the man rips his shirt off and hands it to her. "Iron this."
 
the vibe of this thread seems to be heading toward the un-pc joke so...


how do you make a dead baby float?






two scoops of ice cream and banana
 
What did PC Dick say to PC Johnny?

"Cover me, I'm going in." :P
 
I can only remember the shit ones.

Why did the lion get lost?












Because jungle is massive.



What do you call a zoo with no animals?

















A shitzu.
 
Someone sent me this...


Abe and Golda are on their honeymoon. Golda turns to Abe in bed and says, “Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin.” Shocked, Abe asks, “How can you be a virgin? I’m your fourth husband, you were married three times before!”

Golda responds, “My first husband, Max, was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was examine it. My second husband, Hymie, was a psychiatrist, and all he wanted to do was talk about it. And my third husband, Izzy, was a stamp collector and all he wanted to do was.....oy do I miss Izzy!”
 
Who is the coolest, safest, sickest guy in the hospital?


The ultra-sound guy
 
why did the pervert cross the road...

his dick was still up the chicken.

i thank you
 
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?









Testicular cancer.
 
while the "wrong" jokes are going about heres a few extra

What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law?

About 2.3 pounds including the urn.

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I Was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans. Got through to a call centre in Pakistan. Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane......

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I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
'Oi, what's your disability?'
I said 'Tourettes! Now f**k off you tosser'

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What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair?
Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists.

------------------ -----------------------------------------------------

A history teacher asks a class full of kids 'What was Churchill famous for?'
A kid at the back shouts out 'He was the last white man to be called
Winston!'

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A bride on her wedding night says to her husband 'I must confess darling, I was a hooker!'.
He says 'That's alright, dear. Your past is your past, but I must admit that I find it quite erotic. Tell me about it'.
She replies 'Well, my name was Nigel, and I played for Wigan !'.

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Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees Sister Rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's shagging her the Rev Mother comes in. 'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect.. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's balls off the wet
floor!!'

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A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
His wife replies 'You've got a bigger todger than your brother'
 
bwahahahaha!
This thread is excellent! :D



Q: How do you know if your girlfriend's too young?

A: You have to make plane noises to get your cock in her mouth
 
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