both of your suggestions are more flawed than the original.
She must not own a cat due to her surname being a play on 'cat owner'. Not liking cats is irrelevant and the duo version loses its punch thanks to the garbled first line.
The only reason the original can work is due to its abruptness. She doesn't even own a cat and her surname is 'cat-owner'. Everyone always gives Kerry Katona shit for being the person she is (rightly or wrongly) so its another nail in her coffin.
Do you know that Kerry Katona? She doesn't even own a cat.
what a bitch.
As a joke it is funny to pull out as an aside when you are tripping on mushrooms. Less funny to be analysed and dissected when sober. I will grant this.
Next you will be telling me there are no pop stars called 'Sharia Law'. :P
Yes the double act version is not very satisfying, the basic material is promising but I couldn't find any formulation that really worked.
The one liner leaves the audience to do the work dissecting cat-owner, and makes the 'even' meaningful - not only does she not own a cat, she doesn't even like them. For this it becomes risky but I prefer it to the original. But then I suppose I don't really have any context about KK which you suggest in your response. And as I said its only because it's always at the top of this page that my mind has been tugging at the seams!
Sharia Law, didn't she do that 'girls just wanna have fun' song?