I tell you a joke.. You tell me a joke..

Now back to the un-PC a joke I heard from a freind from Beiruit:

3 Palestinian construction workers are on their tea break chatting. The 1st pulls out his wallet and shows a picture to his colleagues saying "This was my son Mustafah. He martyred himself at 19, and killed 3 Israeli soldiers."

The other two nod and look impressed, and the 2nd takes out his wallet. "This was my son Ibrahem. He martyred himself at 17, and took out a Markaba APC, killing two of the crew."

The others nod, murmuring "Allahu akbar". Then the 3rd removes his wallet and shows a picture. "This was my son. He martyred himself at 16, in a cafe in Tal-Aviv, killing 14 Israeili's." At this the others nod, looking suitably impressed. Then the 1st sighs and says:





















"My, they do blow up so quickly, don't they?"
 
What's red, dead and falls out of trees?.



.....






.....





.....





a monkeys miscarriage

....



ok .... i feel really guilty now...... what can i possibly do to make things better?......sorry :Sad:

That actually made me laugh more the fact you felt guilty :ilol:
 
An elderly man is on his death bed although he can feel the end is near, he smells a lovely aroma and realises his loving wife of 60 years is baking his favourite cakes, he finds the strength to drag his knackered body to the kitchen, as his frail withered hand reaches up to the table, he suddenly feel the whack of a wooden spoon as his wife barks FUCK OFF THEY ARE FOR THE FUNERAL
 
Following the problems with Lehmann Bros and the sub-prime lending
market in America; and the run on Northern Rock, HBOS and Bradford &
Bingley in the UK; uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up
and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will
likely go for a song, while today trading in shares in Kamikaze Bank was suspended
after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank
is reported to have taken a hit, though they still remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report
that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that
staff may get a raw deal.
:ibiggrin:
 
85% of scousers admitted enjoying sex in the shower...............














.............the other 15% havent been to prison yet
 
Another wrong'un...

================

Morris is one of the lucky ones because he's
the only one of his family to have survived two years in a
concentration camp. He's now nearing

90 and his only remaining joy is the national
lottery, which he's been playing for years without success.

But then he wins the big one, a prize of $10
million, and a journalist from the Times calls on him for a story.

Morris tells him, 'As I'm the only one in my
family to have survived concentration camp, this has helped me decide
how to make use of my large win.

So I've decided to donate $5 million to the
Save the Children Fund, $3 million to the Simon Wiesenthal Centre,
$750,000 to the Jewish Museum,$750,000 Hadassah Hospital and
$500,000 to be shared amongst my Friends. I'm also thinking of
donating $1 from my pocket to the Nazi party.'

The journalist is surprised. 'But Morris, how
can you think of donating even $1 to the Nazi party after everything
that's happened to you and your family?'

Morris rolls up his sleeve, points to his arm, smiles and replies,
'It's only fair. They gave me the winning numbers.'
 
What's the difference between a boat and a cat?











Quite a lot.
lolz

time for some for shit ones,
apologies in advance..

------------------------------------
Sandwich goes into a bar.
Sorry mate we don't serve food.
-----------------------------------------
Wig goes into a bar.
I'm not serving you mate you're off your head!
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a bar, and the fruit machine yells out "you ugly mug!".. he walks to the bar, and the peanuts say "nice jacket mate :iwink:" .. puzzled, he asks the barman what's going on. Barman replies, "sorry mate, the fruit machine's out of order, but the peanuts are complimentary."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------



on a lighter note..


Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
 
Wig goes into a bar.
I'm not serving you mate you're off your head!
-----------------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a bar, and the fruit machine yells out "you ugly mug!".. he walks to the bar, and the peanuts say "nice jacket mate :iwink:" .. puzzled, he asks the barman what's going on. Barman replies, "sorry mate, the fruit machine's out of order, but the peanuts are complimentary."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


hahaha:icool:
 
A farmer in Dorset has successfully grown a field of vibrators..... but apparently the field has been over run by squatters...
 
A priest checks into a hotel and says to the receptionist "I hope the porn channel is disabled"

She replies, "No, its normal porn you sicko"
 
A priest checks into a hotel and says to the receptionist "I hope the porn channel is disabled"

She replies, "No, its normal porn you sicko"

:irofl: You just cheered up my day immeasurably. Fanx. X
 
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