Top 10 Inappropriate things to say during sex

damion

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what in tintern abbey are you talking about?
10. "You know, you look a little bit like frank skinner in this light."

9. "You know, you look a little bit like raja ram in this light."

8. "They should never have done that to the one way system. It's a disgrace."

7. "What was the name of that bloke who presented chock-a-block?"

6. "What's your mum's number again?"

5. "There's no place for a flat back four these days. Sven needs to embrace a more dynamic, fluid formation which would accommodate players' individual flair."

4. "Five thirty i paid for twenty fags in waterloo station the other week."

3. "Five pounds fucking thirty."

2. "Can we hurry up, only I was planning to do something productive with my evening."

1. "I need a crap, you don't mind if I just lay one here do you?"
 

jamez_23

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1. My name is Matthew Kelly - welcome to stars in their eyes .....
2. So THATS where my keys were ....
 
P

_PsyMike

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</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (damion @ Sep 10 2003, 01:35 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> 1. "I need a crap, you don't mind if I just lay one here do you?" [/quote:6f4bbddcaa]
damion....u are a bad bad man!! :no: lol :lol:
 

Snowdog

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1. Your sister is much better.

2. You are realy bad at this.

3. I am out of condoms, can i use a sock?

4. When is this going to get good?

5. Its nothing dangerous, just a rash....

6. Is 500,- ok?.

7. Dont tell my wife.

8. Whats that tuna smell...

9. I think the condom bursted 10 minutes ago.

10. What was your name again?
 

Red five

jah mangled spanner
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that would be telling
1. Have you ever thought about jesus?

2. My ex used to do it like this...

3. Blimey! I got an echo then...

4. Which one are you...? oh.

5. is that it?

6. whats for dinner?

7. put your hair into bunches I wanna ride you like a motorbike...

8. You haven't really done this much have you?

9. all you need is a bit of training up.

10. "Sweet JESUS, I did didn't I" (say this afterwards, they love it...)
 

skwelch

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:dlol: :dlol: :dlol: :dlol:
 

Monkey Do

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I'm touching myself as I write this post.
>Did I tell you the results of my HIV test?

>Do you mind if the dog joins us?

>Urgh! tastes like battery acid!

>It'll hurt less when you reach your teens.

>Bollocks, it's the old bill...better pull over.

>Ouch, I think I just got a bit of sweetcorn jammed down my japseye

>Right, that proves it then...I'm gay.
 

josh

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</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Monkey Do @ Sep 10 2003, 09:00 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>
>It'll hurt less when you reach your teens [/quote:25d20f6309]
oh no!!! :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: thats exactly something like a friend of mine would say :Smile3:
The other night, he was with his girlie and just as theyre about tocome, he stops and asks her about the Nasdaq stock exchange :lol: :lol:
On previous occasions, he has (purposely) called out her sisters name, her best mates name and his ex's name - apparently, it brings a brilliant stop to the proceedings every time :Grin:
 

damion

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what in tintern abbey are you talking about?
word josh, sounds like the "rodeo shag"....

1. mount from behind, get a good grip on shoulder and under stomach, "to ensure a good purchase".

2. Lean forward and whisper "I'm thinking about <insert her best mate's name here>"

3. See how long you can hold on for :Smile3:
 

natacherry

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oh my god...if my boyfriend ever did that i would be sooooooooooooooo angry! :angry: shit...i would seriously consider killing him
 

Mrs B

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excuse me I think Im gonna be sick

pass the ashtray

hurry up eastenders is on in a minute

are you in yet :o

what do you call that?
 
S

Stix

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oh god Mrs B - I've actually had that said to me... (excuse me I think I'm gonna be sick) the curse of booze, smokes and erm 'exercise' :lol:

.. I don't find you sexually attractive.
.. you're doing nothing for me.
.. you have no tits when you stand up either.
.. can my mate join in? He's better than you at that.
.. do you mind if I take an afrodisiac first?
.. do you mind if turn the light off.
.. don't worry, the doctor told me not to worry about that secretion.
 

Red five

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that would be telling
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (damion @ Sep 11 2003, 01:12 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> word josh, sounds like the "rodeo shag"....

1. mount from behind, get a good grip on shoulder and under stomach, "to ensure a good purchase".

2. Lean forward and whisper "I'm thinking about <insert her best mate's name here>"

3. See how long you can hold on for :Smile3: [/quote:01a29449c5]
we call it buckaroo in these parts. except you hold their hair and whisper "I've got aids" then hold on for dear life. BUCKAROO!
 
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