Joke Time Post your favourite!

Therapeutic Indecks

Junior Members
A fanatic hears that the circus is coming to town. He goes along, buys his ticket and takes a seat in the front row. Throughout the performance he shouts louder than any kid, and he is the most excited person in the room.
A year later the circus comes back to town. He goes along again chosing a front seat. Again he shouts louder than anyone else and is the most excitable person in the room. One of the clowns takes note, remembering the man from last year. He decides to make the man the butt of a joke, and approaches him.

"Are you the front end of an ass?" the clown asks.
"No" the man replies, delighted that he has been selected to participate.
"Are you the back end of an ass?" asks the clown
"No" replies the man
"Then you must be no end of an ass!!!!" torts the clown
At the audience erupt with laughter and the man, now rather embarrased, leaves the big top in tears.

Howeverm a year later, he decides that as he likes the circis, he's gonna give it another go. He places himself in the front row. The clown spots him.

"Are you the front end of an ass?" the clown asks.
"No" the man replies, fully aware of what was about to happen.
"Are you the back end of an ass?" asks the clown
"No" replies the man
"Then you must be no end of an ass!!!!" torts the clown.
The man leaves the big top to roars of laughter, exactly as he did a year ago.

this cycle goes on for another 4 years, and the man is becomming really distraught. He want's to go and enjoy the circus but the clown keeps bullying him. He decides to do something drastic and pays a local comedian £300 to come up with the ultimate put down line.

He practices the line all day before the circus in front of the mirror, just so that he has the timing perfect. he goes along to the circus and waits for the clown to start his usual repertoir.

"Are you the front end of an ass?" the clown asks.
"No" the man replies, keeping his cool.
"Are you the back end of an ass?" asks the clown
"No" replies the man
"Then you must be no end of an ass!!!!" torts the clown.
The man then, with the most perfect timing executes his line given to him by the comedian... "Fuck off clown!"
 

Dezi

S.W.A.R.M
heres a little insight into what makes me tick....


Whats red and white and sits in a tree going "twit twoo, twit twoo...."...?






















A sanitary owl.......

ill get me coat.....
 

mmelody

Junior Members
What can a jelly baby do that a man can't????
























Come in 5 delicious flavours.... BOOM BOOM :irofl:
 

oO(Lemon.Scented.Dreams)

King of Lojgixck
Whats E.T. short for?







Hes got little legs!!!
 

jooncoi

rock...paper...SHOTGUN
vulgar?

well most of the time i get a slap for sayin these...but you did ask

whats funnier than a dead baby?

a dead baby in a clown suit


whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a pile of ping pong balls?

you cant move the balls with a pitchfork


whats better than winning the special olympics?

....not bein retarded

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
but you wanted vulgar, and believe me there the nicest
 

CariFairy

Now Less Confused
oO(Lemon.Scented.Dreams) said:
Whats E.T. short for?







Hes got little legs!!!

:ph34r:

I told that joke just the other day....

I didnt think anyone else knew it...

where did you get it from?
 

Dezi

S.W.A.R.M
jooncoi said:
vulgar?

well most of the time i get a slap for sayin these...but you did ask

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry
but you wanted vulgar, and believe me there the nicest

its my fault... i specifically requested vulgar jokes.......... dont blame yourself jooncoi........
 

jooncoi

rock...paper...SHOTGUN
Dezi said:
its my fault... i specifically requested vulgar jokes.......... dont blame yourself jooncoi........

is it bad that i still laugh at them?


two peanuts walking down the road
one was assaulted

i sent my mate a load of snow the other day
called him up and said 'd'ya get my drift?'

jesus walks into a hotel, puts three nails on the reception and says
'can you put me up for the night?'

whats pink and fluffy?
pink fluff

whats blue and fluffy?
pink fluff holdin its breath

what pink an hard?
a pig with a flick knife

why is it cool to be autistic?
cos autistic kids rock

(k, that last one was mean, sorry again)
mwah x
 
M

makdaddy

Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by oO(Lemon.Scented.Dreams)
Whats E.T. short for?







Hes got little legs!!!

CariFairy said:
:ph34r:

I told that joke just the other day....

I didnt think anyone else knew it...

where did you get it from?


nah thas been around for years that one, along with


What does E.T. stand for ?
































cos he cant sit down. :icool:
 

Dragongurl

zooming blue
One bright sunny day there was a bear and and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods together.

After a little while the bear turns to the rabbit....

"Tell me mister rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit, looking a little shocked, turns to him and says: "Well, no actually I don't!"































The bear then wipes his *ss with the rabbit!

:Grin:
 
P

paranoidandroid

Guest
Dragongurl said:
One bright sunny day there was a bear and and a rabbit taking a shit in the woods together.

After a little while the bear turns to the rabbit....

"Tell me mister rabbit, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit, looking a little shocked, turns to him and says: "Well, no actually I don't!"


The bear then wipes his *ss with the rabbit!

:Grin:

The 1st time I heard that I got such a case of the giggles I just could stop, was gerook at the time though:ilol:
 

LOLITA

Psychodelicat
On the 6th day, God turned to the Angel Gabriel and announced:
"Today I shall create a land called Canada.
It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty.
With snow-capped mountains, shimmering blue lakes, forests of elk and moose and rivers of salmon. And the air will be clear and pure.
I shall make the land rich in oil so that the inhabitants shall prosper.
I shall call these inhabitants Canadians and they shall be known as the friendliest people on Earth."
"Don't you think you're being rather too generous to these Canadians?" asked Gabriel.
"Wait", said God. "You haven't seen the neighbours I'm going to give them".
 
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