Top 10 Ladykillers unite

My latest batch of surefire chat up lines......

- did you call my pint a poof?

- Wot you looking at four eyes?

- sorry I'm late but I was hanging out the back of your mum.

:P
 
Would you like a ugly baby?

wanna go halves on a bastard?

Aparently in my infinite wisdom i tried to chat a girl up the other day by saying
" You've got really horrendous taste in men! "
Oh well, think i might give up the booze.
 
I heard this one at the end of a long and fruitless night out.

"Drop your standards love, I had to"

It was not particularly sucessful. :lol1:
 
I got his one last night, by a cute barmaid who pinched my bum...



'You know there's a great Gay Club on saturdays nights' :smoke:

x
 
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (space_baker @ Mar 5 2004, 09:57 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I heard this one at the end of a long and fruitless night out.

"Drop your standards love, I had to"

It was not particularly sucessful. :lol1: [/quote:62f93a46f4]
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Darn funny!
On the downside you need matrix dexterity to avoid the flights of incoming slaping!
 
<span style='color:purple'>The worstest chat up line that's recently been inflicted upon me by far too many blokes than is absolutley neccessary is:

bloke: are you having an arranged marriage? (cos i'm indian)

me: er... no! why?

bloke: could u arrange to marry me then?

me: RUNAWAY SCREAMING AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!

:blink: wtf?!</span>
 
you: want to have incredible sex?

she: no!

you: then come with me..


or


you: want to have incredible sex?

she: yes!

you: then come with me..


IT CAN'T FAIL!
 
It didn't work but I didn't stop laughing for a full five minutes much to this guy's embarassment and thank fuck he took the hint and buggered off! the other week this bloke comes up to me and asks me if my name's 'gillette.' i said no and he said it should be cos...
'you're the best a man can get.'
BLERUGH!!!!

A popular chat-up line in Brum is to ask you with a really interested look about where the good places to go are. You start feeling like a tourist information centre after the fourth bloke has come up to eagerly ask you where the good bars are! Where's the originality gone?!
 
Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

You remind me of my Grandma except I haven't slept with you yet.

You stole my heart. But that's okay; I have another one at home in the fridge.

Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?



;)
 
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (djchoppa @ Mar 20 2004, 08:49 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

[/quote:9cee8bb3c6]
You stole that from Ott!! the King of cheesey pickups !!!!!

:lol:
 
no, your right... dont think ill be trying that one out any time soon!!!

still, it might work better than telling them 'my names Lord Orgasmos ;) ' (the wink is part of the line :P )
 
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Pheadra @ Mar 25 2004, 07:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (djchoppa @ Mar 20 2004, 08:49 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

[/quote:7b32efccb2]
You stole that from Ott!! the King of cheesey pickups !!!!!

:lol:[/quote:7b32efccb2]
and he stole it from me!

*or bill hicks, at least*
 
</div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Goatboy @ Mar 28 2004, 11:12 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Pheadra @ Mar 25 2004, 07:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (djchoppa @ Mar 20 2004, 08:49 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'>

I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

[/quote:713f53bcda]
You stole that from Ott!! the King of cheesey pickups !!!!!

:lol:[/quote:713f53bcda]
and he stole it from me!

*or bill hicks, at least* [/quote:713f53bcda]
:P ;) :lol1:
 
My girlfriend had came up with a good one the other night in Soundshaft (the back room/club next to Heaven in London). There was this guy in a tank top that she immediately assumed was gay, so she went up to him on a bit of a high and said, "Have you just come from Heaven?"

He replied, "No I just got off a plane from Australia." Then followed a cheesy smile, he wasn't gay - girlfriend did a runner.

I laughed and laughed and laughed!!!!

It would have worked of course, but then what lines don't work on a single man whne uttered by a vixen?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top