Marriage :)

Ratty

Carnem et caseum mihi placent
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You have two choices in life:

You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

***

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

***

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:

"Husband Wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:

"You can have mine."

***

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

***

A woman is incomplete until she is married.

Then she is finished.

***

A little boy asked his father,

"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied,

"I don't know son, I'm still paying."

***

Young son:

"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad:

That happens in every country, son."

***

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

***

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence

***

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

***

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking

they had no faults at all.

***

First guy:

"My wife's an angel!"

Second guy:

"You're lucky, mine's still alive."

***

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with

a bald head and a beer gut, >> and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

***

Innit :Smile3:
 
lol.... nice ones ratty!!!

and they all sound pretty true.... :lolololo:
 
that puts me off marriage....
... but then again puts me on it too....

hmmm....
 
:lol1: :lol1: - nice one rattypeep, i have to pinch that and forward it to a few chosen people who i know will fall about laughing! Interesting to see a guy put it up - you must be one of those elusive - "nice guys"! :Wink3: :lol1:
 
Corse I am ........ :Smile3:

Tbh... a girl sent it to me :Wink3:
 
yAy! that was good for a 6am nocturnal chuckle :Grin:

im never getting married ever.. not to the right man, or the left man. so i can laugh at these jokes :hehe:
 
Golaf - I love that avatar... one of my fave Van Gogh paintings!! Sorry, off topic...

Definition of a bridegroom? A vibrator with a wallet.
 
lala69 said:
Golaf - I love that avatar... one of my fave Van Gogh paintings!! Sorry, off topic...

Definition of a bridegroom? A vibrator with a wallet.

Definition of a bride? A wankrag that can cook :Wink3:
 
YEah yeah... like: what do you do if your woman walks in front of the telly naked while you're watching footie? Shorten the chain, what's she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
 
Exactly. Women's rights - what's that all about then? We made the shackles more comfortable. What next?
 
Mmmm.... cyanic acid...

There was a young fellow from Lyme
Who married three wives at a time
When asked, "Why the third?"
He replied, "One's absurd,
And bigamy, sir, is a crime."
 
indiska said:
yAy! that was good for a 6am nocturnal chuckle :Grin:

im never getting married ever.. not to the right man, or the left man. so i can laugh at these jokes :hehe:


bet you do

nice one ratster giggley woo
 
Love is a like pack of cards,

you need a heart to love,
a diamond to marry her,
a club to bash her head in
and a spade to bury her :lol:


(Courtesy Jack Dee actually :Wink3: )
 
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