One for the musicians on the forum

Vanilla Penguin

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When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple of days later, the town drunk was walking through the
cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where
Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest
to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and
heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave,
listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's
Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth
Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the
magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth...
the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realisation of what was happening dawned on the
magistrate. He stood up and announced to the crowd that had
gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to
worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
 

Gajo

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What do you call a drummer with out a girlfriend?


Homeless.
 

psy-sweep

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What happens if you play a country and western song backwards?

you get your house, your wife and your dog back.
 

psy-sweep

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Just one more for the musos....

A talented young pianist was booked to play in the USA, so he boarded flight at Heathrow. On arrival, the first thing he saw was sign saying:

"Welcome to Washington DC"

So he got on the plane and went back again.
 

rcain

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psy-sweep said:
Just one more for the musos....

A talented young pianist was booked to play in the USA, so he boarded flight at Heathrow. On arrival, the first thing he saw was sign saying:

"Welcome to Washington DC"

So he got on the plane and went back again.
...sounds really likely....but, i dont get it.....
 

Random-K

Savage, Severe, And Hench
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A man walks into a pub, and after having a few pints, boasts to the barman that he can fart the national anthem. The barman can't believe this, and bets the man 20 quid that he can't. The man takes up this bet, and immediately jumps on the bar, pulls down his trousers and craps everywhere. The barman goes mad, demanding to know why the man just did that.

And the man says, "Well even Pavarotti has to clear his voice before a performance."
 

psy-sweep

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rcain said:
...sounds really likely....but, i dont get it.....
Don't think this so-called joke will survive dissection, but...

In sheet music 'DC' stands for 'Del Coda' - return to the beginning.

Laugh? I nearly bought a drum kit.... :Wink3:
 

Tiptop

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The seven Dwarfs are in the bath.They all feel grumpy. So grumpy gets out so they all feel happy.
 

rcain

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psy-sweep said:
Don't think this so-called joke will survive dissection, but...

In sheet music 'DC' stands for 'Del Coda' - return to the beginning.

Laugh? I nearly bought a drum kit.... :Wink3:
ahaha...suitably arkane...sounds like u r well overdue 4 that drumkit
 

psy-sweep

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And while we're off the subject of music... Have we done the all drummer jokes? :Wink3:

What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the information into a drum machine once... etc...
 

rcain

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Q - What do you get if you cross a drummer with a gorilla?

A - A really dumb gorilla!!!


Q - How do you get 2 drummers to play in time?

A - Shoot one.




Q - What does the dyslexic drummer do after a joke?

A - "Ching, Badumdum".


.....drummers attracting almost as much derision as blondes...
 

Squagnut

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psy-sweep said:
Don't think this so-called joke will survive dissection, but...

In sheet music 'DC' stands for 'Del Coda' - return to the beginning.

Laugh? I nearly bought a drum kit.... :Wink3:
Love the drummer jokes, but *pedant alert* (and *if* I recall correctly - I have a music encyclopaedia which will settle this if need be) DC stands for Da Capo - literally, "to the head". Del Coda, *I think*, means you should go to that squiggly symbol thing:


Happy to be corrected :Smile3:


Oh yeh, jokes....

What do you call an accordion player with a mobile phone?

An optimist.
 

Faction

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Michele said:
How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
-None. They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand.
-Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
-One, but the guitarist has to show him first.
-Six: one to change it, and the other five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

Did you hear about the electric bass player who was so bad that even the lead singer noticed?
What's the definition of a bass player?
A cross between a drummer and a musician.

A man is visiting a central African country for the first time, and the first thing he notices on stepping out of the plane is the sound of drums, beating away in the jungle surrounding the airport. At first he thinks it's some kind of native welcoming ceremony but on leaving the airport an hour later the drums are still going, dark and tribal. He asks the newspaper seller standing outside the airport, "Excuse me, I'm a visitor here; could you tell me please what the drumming is about?"

The vendor shakes his head and says, simply, "Drums stop - very bad, very bad..."

The man gets into a taxi and asks to be taken to his hotel in the city an hour's drive away through the jungle. After half an hour's drive the drums are still pounding away rhythmically, and the man asks the same question of the taxi driver: "Do you have any idea what the drumming's about?"

The taxi driver shakes his head and says through gritted teeth, "Drums stop - bad, very very bad".

The man is now very nervous; something is happening in this country and he doesn't know what it is. Is there a war? Some kind of tribal conflict? Has he come to this country at 'a bad time'? He has to know. On arriving at his hotel he gets out of the car and the drumming is louder than ever; it seems to be gradually rising to some sort of crescendo. People on the streets are obviously aware of this as they are rushing back to their houses - shops are being shuttered and he only just makes it into the hotel before the door is locked. He's scared shitless - it must be some kind of native attack on the city. He rushes up to the receptionist and grabs her lapels, shaking her as he asks, frantically, "What's going on? What does the drumming mean? Why won't it STOP?"

She looks at him, pityingly, and says, as she grabs her handbag and makes for the basement, "Drumming stop - very very bad. Drums stop - bass solo starts..."
 
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