places I have shat

damion Jan 5, 2004

  1. damion

    damion Pound Shop Alex Petridis

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    what in tintern abbey are you talking about?
    I dont think girls ever come into this forum so what the hey


    1. On a layby on the A36 between Bath and Frome

    2. US Airways aeroplane on the way back from San Fransisco. Not the best, but at 550mph, it's technically the fastest.

    3. Next to the canal at the turned toon party this September

    4. The sitdown proper toilet in Therma, Samothraki. Hooray!

    5. Munich

    6. My mum's house, 1992. Held a turtlehead all the way from the centre of town. Very proud of that one.

    7. Psyproject. It was when red five was playing, but I dont really think he had anything to do with it.

    8. The Nexus, Southampton, about five minutes before playing after OOOD. That was touch and go.

    9. Somewhere on the Embankment, NYE 1999-2000, London.

    10.Andrew Humphries' flat. The bathroom is the conduit from the kitchen to the bedrooms, and I was terribly embarassed about smelling it up.
     
  2. Faction

    Faction Proto-col

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    8 - You mean you missed Kundalini Rising? :Smile3:
    10 - a corker... I love the poster opposite the toilet.
     
  3. Stix

    Stix Guest

    :lol: :lol: ha hah haaaaa!! *sniff* oh dear... bhahahaaaa... :lol: :lol: so my sence of humour! :unsure: :P

    hmm okay let me think..

    might not be able to do a top ten but I'll try a few..

    january 2003.. spent the last two weeks in Zimbabwe with the folks.. being kin of barberians - the staple diet for the first two weeks was Biltong (dried meat - like jerky but nicer) - now I can eat about 1/2 a leg of this stuff in one sitting - two weeks of non stop stanking.. phew-wee.. just as well is was out in the bush huh? :Wink3: I was crying for fiber..

    in an old rabbit hole in Glastonbury - what a pretty view :Grin:


    in a bog with a glass door that looked into the bedroom and out over the bay in the south of Majorca.. you see the 'Dragonara' rock thing and it really does look like a sleeping dragon on the water.. but it looks fuzzy when you gotta squeeze tho.. :blink:

    on a train at the station at Bracknell.. well it was Bracknell!

    erm - and a few other places I care not to divulge.. I am a lady after all :rolleyes:

    but the best I've ever witnessed (not that I'm into 'that' :ph34r: sort of thing) was a little kid at the top of the slide when I was about 6.. poor kid had the runs really bad.. he just stood there - at the top of the slide.. with a perculiar grin or was it a grimace as ex-lunch flowed over his shoe and made it's snakey way down the slide.. his parents where mortified. and left my parents lunch party rather quickly.. I didn't see him again for quite a few years..

    I saw him again last year - doing a reading at his dad's funeral.. wasn't the place to remind him really.. funny how you only remember a few things from childhood..
     
  4. Mrs B

    Mrs B Real world? What's that?

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    You lot are talking shit :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. martin_e

    martin_e Pantheistic Cyberneticist

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    For truly eye(and nose) watering shitting experiences I would highly recomend South America.

    Prime recollections:

    1. The toilet where something which COULD NOT have been human had left a 2ft long, 3 inch wide (aprox. I didn't measure) turd on the floor.

    2. The Inca Trail toilet in an area marked "The Environmental Police will arrest anyone going to the toilet in this area. Use the facility provided". I opened the door, was violently sick at the smell - then risked the illegal woodland (guilt!)

    Although the toiletry highlight of the whole trip was when I met the beautiful girl I was travelling with at Santiago airport. Asking about her travels in India I said "So did you get Delhi Belly then ?"

    "Put it this way", she replied "this is my third sleeping bag ..."
     
  6. Medea

    Medea Member

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    ROFL!

    I don't think I have a top ten but definitely a Willesden free party comes back to me, it was half woods, half industrial estate -very odd place to be taking a shit. I will never forget being at Little Green Planet and me and a couple of friends were stumbling through the woods and came across this man halfway through taking a shit. Of course me and this other girl were all embarassed but my munted ex decided to stand there with a look of morbid fascination watching this poor bloke, who just decided to get on with it, audience and all! :crazy:
     
  7. martin_e

    martin_e Pantheistic Cyberneticist

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    I was at both the Willesden Junction party, and the Little Green Planet.
    I remember running for shelter at the Little Wet Planet and was about to sit down under a shady tree - then spotted the little pink warnings left scattered around what was obviously the "toilet-tree". Close run thing...

    Willesden Junction ? Bet you got your arse covered in coal dust! :Smile3:
     
  8. Stix

    Stix Guest

    went for a wee in Singapore once.. looked like a normal public loo when you walked in.. chose a stall.. looked in to find no white structure at all.. just a drain running parrallel to the door (you didn't have an individual hole running to a main drain below - was just a long open shallow drain - and the whole loo was constructed on a slope- if I'd realised this I would have chosen a stall at the other end).. you had to squat side ways to go.. nice thing was that if someone was in the stall next to you facing the oposite way - ya would have got a wicked view of everything.. either that or wet shoes.. :no:
     
  9. Medea

    Medea Member

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    </div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (martin_e @ Jan 6 2004, 04:23 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> I was at both the Willesden Junction party, and the Little Green Planet.
    I remember running for shelter at the Little Wet Planet and was about to sit down under a shady tree - then spotted the little pink warnings left scattered around what was obviously the "toilet-tree". Close run thing...

    Willesden Junction ? Bet you got your arse covered in coal dust! :Smile3: [/quote:04cff2f2d9]
    Well at least you didn't step in the biggest pile of shit I have ever seen at Little Green Planet :lol: good thing I was munted, it was horrible! Wicked parties both of them though :speaker:
     
  10. Mrs B

    Mrs B Real world? What's that?

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    People who poo in the outdoors without digging a hole or something are a menace to society, and should have there poo slapped on there heads.

    :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

    Treading in human poo is the worst :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:
     
  11. Burt

    Burt Forum Member

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    seeing as girls dont poo, i only have one experience worthy of a top 10 which was on a luvly deserted island in the middle of a lake in finland :Smile3: nice for that back-to-nature feeling!
    tihihih.
     
  12. jsainsbury

    jsainsbury Forum Addict

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    i hate pooing anywhere but my house or airports, so i dont
     
  13. Faction

    Faction Proto-col

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    Damn right... I regularly hold on for 3 days if at a festival. It's easy; just don't drink hardly anything. The pain goes away after the second day.
     
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  14. andrew

    andrew open your mind

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    we're so excited to be in this top 10 - talk about spoilt, we get to use it every Day!!

    Andrew & Dita
     
  15. Full Lotus

    Full Lotus Hob Nob King Staff Member

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    Damion, finally an intellectual topic that I'm not ashamed to reply to. Here goes, literally :lol: :hehe: :hehe:

    1. My home, after all home is where the fart is.

    2. At work, especially christening the new office, that was fun

    3. On the train from Delhi to Goa, using the Indian style toilet. Try it if you
    dare :ph34r:

    4. Glastonbury 1990, sitting in a cubicle trying not to fall into the mess below.
    :crazy:

    5. At Tyssen Street, in the final days. Can't remember which party though. Not fun
    trying to hold the door closed I can tell you :wacko:

    6. At Se1/Drome, the nicest crap I've had in a club. :sun:

    7. In an open field in India on my Grandparent's farm :sonne:

    8. The Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, India, probably one of the most luxurious craps.

    9. Imperial Hotel, Delhi, India, again see No. 9 :punk:

    10. The time whilst at uni in the early 90's when I did the turd that would not go.
    Was there for about a week. It only went because I had to break it up with a
    rolled up newspaper before flushing away quite a memorable specimen. 1992
    I think that was....

    :partysmi: :sun: :goodthre: :speaker: :peace: :smokingr: :runsmile:
     
  16. bez23

    bez23 Adverse camber

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    You simply can't beat a Poo-With-A-View. I had a job on the 11th floor of an office overlooking some roads and Crystal Palace transmitter in S.London once, where you could keep the door open (with plenty of time to shut it if anyone came in) and have yer morning dump with a glorious lofty view :Smile3:

    Hey - Full Lotus, I got stuck on your number 9 for about half an hour in some kind of infinite regress. Your number 10 number two I have deep respect for...
    This thread rocks.
    :goodthre: :punk:
     
  17. Burt

    Burt Forum Member

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    TOP 10 WORST POOING CONDITIONS that i can realistically imagine.....(no particular order)...

    1.) anywhere where there is a redfaced-sweaty-short-stocky-bald-man wiv an animated vein protruding from his forehead, clenching his teeth, also looking for somewhere to poo.
    (experienced @ Drome)

    2.) in a neighbouring cubicle to one where the guy is clearly so out of it - his feet are poking out underneath the door & he's semi-conscious on the floor, groaning...with poo all over the floor. :runsmile:
    (experienced @ Exodus festival)

    3.) anywhere wivout bog roll

    4.) train

    5.) plane

    6.) in public, in the cold light of day :o

    7.) any toilet with a dodgy door (especially unisex)

    8.) at work (especially when someone talks to you from the next cubicle)

    9.) if you're in a rush

    10.) in an already badly blocked, stinky public/pub/club/work toilet.....the moment u walk out & all eyes are on you.... :unsure:

    luckily i haven't experienced most of these :Grin:

    but i have to have a number 11.) glastonbury festival on the last day!!! :ph34r: :ph34r: :ph34r:
     
  18. Goagabba

    Goagabba Lost in Europe

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    Right, shit.

    Had the most wonderful shit when I was on an E. I was at Rustlers Valley in SA. The toilet was in a small building with only that one toilet, no door, but the best view of mountians and Africa you could ever have while shitting and pilling.

    I'm surprised that the Samothraki Dance Festival toilets haven't been mentioned. Not recommended when you're off your head, and you have to aim with the accuracy of an F16 jet :lol1:

    Then watching some guy take a shit on a plastic chair, at 7am on Samothraki, tripping off his bean, thinking he's just found the best toilet on the island. This chair was in the market stall area. He then must've come out of his hallucination, and started crazily swinging the chair and the shit on it. :crazy:

    Shitting in the dark in UK with nettles brushing lightly against your sphincter. Oooooooowwww!

    The one that wouldn't flush was memorable too. Thing was a monster. Also had to find something to break it up, after ten flushes didn't touch it.

    The bush toilets at Rustlers valley. They were round, open air, unisex, and the people would have a shit with everyone else watching doing the same :unsure:
     
  19. yogi

    yogi Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    fuck me this is good!!! :goodthre:


    aaah hahahahahaha.

    okay, *wipes tears from eyes*

    a squatting thingy in thailand (Ao Nang beach) after a particularly nasty mushie shake. had to go, and i had to squat!! luckily my aim was true and i didn't mess. quite an accomplishment if you keep in mind that it was a kind of bowel emptying that can normally be witnessed at the rhino enclosure at a zoo.

    a bog in Lucern, had to pay, but those violet lights just helped soooo much with the brown bear wrestling. really satisfying.

    at a club in cape town, when i just discovered pills, clubbing etc. it was called unity and it happened nearly every time we went. that wonderfully FREE feeling when your schmangled and just dropped the cosby kids, ready to take on the dancefloor.

    :hehe:
     
  20. josh

    josh marathon solo-sessionahoy

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    Im not really going to give a top ten but i have quite a funny story to tell that happened recently.

    I discovered these lush toilets in my halls at uni which no-one really uses cos they are in the basement but they are really clean and almost palacial, so along i go (with my 'quilted velvet' of course :Wink3: ) And im in one of the stalls and i hear someone come into the next one and sit down. Now because im all british and embarrased about these sorts of things, im generally quite quiet on the loo so he didnt hear me or know i was there. So obviously, i got treated to the whole range of sounds one can hear, and its clear he's really having some troubles!
    This is getting a bit tiresome after a while and frankly gross so i start gently tapping my foot on the floor and clearing my throat etc to let him know someone can hear all this. But he doesnt let up and after a min or two more, im beginning to see the funny side and im grinning at it all as he keeps up the moaning. Then, i hear (and this is pure joy..) he sighs and goes, 'ahh, what a day!'
    BAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! and i burst out laughing cos i couldnt take any more and then realised too late.. i could even hear my laugh echo round the toilets. There was silence for about 5secs, then i heard the roller go and the zip go up and the toilet flush and the door bang and he was gone!
    absolute joy!
    at least i had the loos to myself after that and he's probably wondering what foul demons lurk in the basement toilets of his halls :Smile3:


    but i still cant believe anyone actually goes 'ahh what a day!' i laugh still when i think of that :Grin:
     
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