The battle for the worst joke...ever

Random-K

Savage, Severe, And Hench
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Whitstabubbly
Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms...

Beat that and you win a fiver.
 

Michael

comfortable middle class disco botherer
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what time did the chinaman go to the dentist?

2:30
 

Michael

comfortable middle class disco botherer
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what's David Beckham got in common with Ferrero Roche chocolate?

they both come in a posh box
 

DeeplyDisturbed

Hippie Derivative
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Colchester, Essex
Penguin walks into a bar and asks the barman, "Have you seen my brother?"
Barman asks "What does he look like?"

with apologies
 

TEK_Row

~Catalyst Of the Mind~
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Roswell
Why don't blind people like to skydive??


........It scares the hell out of the dog
 

AEON

dipthong mong
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^lol

what's pink & fluffy? - pink fluff.

what's blue & fluffy? - pink fluff holding its breath.

what's the difference between an orange & a tomato? - they both can't drive a lorry.
 

lurk

Stunning Cunt
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Inside the Bristle Marshmallow
A Texan farmer goes to Australia on vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice that size!"


They walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately replies, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."


The conversation has died down when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks the Aussie, "What are those?"


The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"

ba boom tsk
 

TEK_Row

~Catalyst Of the Mind~
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Did you hear the one about the ignorant American racist asshole?

........ Me neither! He was so fucking smug that some Mexicans wiped his hanburger bun all over their asses at McDonalds and he contracted a bacterial infection and died. Nobody even missed him.

quiche!
 

Geoff3

Direct DJ
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Wiltshire
two sheep in a field....

one says "baaaaa"....

the other says "you bastard I wanted to say that"....
 

Squagnut

There's a gnu in my squat
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Whats the difference between an orange and a strawberry?

An orange is a citrus fruit, roughly the size and shape of a tennis ball, and is (surprise!) orange in colour. When peeled, the middle part of it is divided into approximately sixteen segments, which will come apart and can be eaten separately. These segments are juicy on the inside, and also contail the seeds, or "pips", which are generally discarded but can be planted.

A strawberry is smaller, ofte reaching the size of a ping-pong ball, but they are more heart-shaped than spherical, and, when ripe, they are red, although often they can be found to have white areas, which denote a partialy-ripened fruit. The seeds are small and green/yellow, and are on the outside of the fruit. There is no need to peel strawberries in order to eat them, but it is important to remove the stem from them.
 
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