touche girlfriend :)

hamish

Furthur and furthur
here's something i got sent by a wise old man...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men
and women differ so much. And I never have figured out
the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured
out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and
I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the
planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to
satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night,
I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch
and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd
just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she
picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell
you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet
when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think
I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,
honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction
from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No
honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my
financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your
shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at

least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

:irofl:
 

oOemmaOo

hello
canyouhearthegoblins said:
wotEVER :Grin:
i'll just patiently await the day i have a boyfriend who buys me clothes rather than vice versa :Smile3:



:ibiggrin:
 

Vinsanity

Walking Disaster Zone
:irofl: hehehehehe :ibiggrin:
 

grokit23

God mintsmak
classic! :ilol:

but I'm not going to try it myself. :Wink3:
 
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