A man sat watching the news about an escaped bear looks out of his window and sees it asleep in a tree, in the garden.
One quick call and the bear catcher arrives with a net, a jack russell, and a shot gun.
The man checks out the plan.
Bear Catcher - "I shimmy up the tree. Shake the branch so the bear falls out of the tree. The jack russell bites the dogs balls, when it faints you throw the net over it!"
Man - "So whats the shotgun for?"
B.C. - "If I fall out that tree for F***ks sake shoot the jackrussell".
Man has brain tumour from taking too many psychedelics.. all his family are gathered around,
and his friends.. it looks like his last rites are needed...
The Doctor comes in....
They all look up at her hopefully.
"Well there is one thing we can do for him! It's a radical brain transplant"
"Really will that work? Will that be him still afterwards?"
"Waffle quantum buggery, something about soul transference, yeah whatever, yes!"
"Only one problem" the doctor carries on.
"It is rather expensive to buy brains for transplant. It would cost around Â£3,000,000
for a male one, but the good news is a female one would only cost Â£20,000."
At this point all the men in the room burst into hysterics...
The one lady asks
"Why so much less for a woman's brain?"
The Doctor looks at her squarely, and smiles...
"It because the females haven't been used so much."