Whats the best joke youv'e ever heard?

oOemmaOo

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a bird flies into a pub and perches on the bar, the landlord walks over and the bird pipes up...."got any bread?", the landlord shakes his head, the bird pipes up again "got any bread?" the landlord looks sternly at the bird and replies "no", the bird pipes up again "got any bread?", the landlord is aggrivated and says to the bird "no, I don't have any bread, now get out of my pub before I nail your beak to the bar", the little bird pipes up "got any nails?", the landlord shakes his head and says "no" and the little bird pipes up "got any bread?" :p :Wink3:

Courtesy of Jenijen Sunday afternoon at Indigo Children!! :Wink3:
 

AEON

dipthong mong
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why should you never wear Russian boxer shorts?







...Chernobyl fallout
 

AEON

dipthong mong
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one more -

what do you call a fly with no wings?

a walk!
 

Fromem_Ory

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i heard it with a duck saying got any grapes, same thing, i like the duck better tho :P
 

TranceVisuals

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what do you call a fly with no wings

Doof. doof. doof. doof........
 

hoofer

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why did the biscuit cry?







cos his mum was away for so long
 

PixieDust

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This guy is driving home from work when he gets a phone call from his boss. By picking up the phone he swerves and heads into a bush just as his boss is telling him he's got a promotion.
He reverses the car and carries on home, 10 mins later,it happens again and he narrowly misses a puppy all because his boss promotes him again. He almost manages to get home when he gets his third promotion but this time he crashes into a wall and the police arrive.
After the police have a chat and breathalize him they come to the conclusion..........he's careered off the road!!


Sorry guys, not my best one but you can't do actions on-line!!
 
R

Rizla

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two bats in a cage dying of thirst, theres a storm outside, and the wind is howling, bats start to argue about who is gonna go and get some food, one bat goes ok ill go and flys out, comes back with bloody fans, second bats goes wow that was fast , first bat goes nah, come with me, bats fly off, and stop, first bat says to second bat, you see that tree over there, second bat goes yeah, first bat says well i didnt :hehe:

my dad must of told me this joke fifty times,it sounds better when he does it with the actions and voices :lol:
parents eh!
 

whitedog

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Baby polar bear, goes to his mum, and says: "Mum, am I a real polar bear?
His mum saysd: "yes, of course you are, dear".
Baby polar bear says: "Are you sure, I mean, I'm not a grizzly bear, or a brown bear or anything like that...?"
His mum says: "no, dear, of course you're not, if you don't believe me, go and ask your Dad."

So the little baby polar bear toddles off to find his dad, who is fishing at the edge of the ice-floe
"Dad", he asks, "am I a real polar bear?"

"Yes, of course you are, Son." replies Daddy Polar Bear.

"Are you sure?", asks the little one, "you sure I'm not a koala bear, or a honey bear, or any other sort of bear?"

"No, of course you 're not", says his dad, "you're a polar bear, why?"

"Well, i'm bloody freezing!"
 
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